There's so many of them in this movie. For instance, the protagonist, Tita, crochets a seemingly neverending blanket to attempt to warm herself from the cold she feels from seeing the man she loves marry her sister. Okay, if my man did that and I was never allowed to be married period and had to take care of my cruel mother (this woman makes her daughter give her sponge baths. If that's not cruel, I don't know what is) until she croaked, I think the last thing I'd do is make a quilt. This is heartbreaking. I want to see profanities in the subtitles (therefore improving my Spanish) and a number of broken vases, not some image of Tita in a carriage with the endless quilt cascading in the wind as she abandons her only home. I want some quality tears and suffering instead of metaphors for how one can never fully leave their past. Jeez, is that really so much to ask?
And let's not forget the whole rose bit. Pedro (aka Tita's secret lover) brings roses to Tita and Tita makes food out of them. Apparently cooking becomes Tita's way of expressing herself and she creates some kind of aphrodisiac, as the food makes Pedro and Tita both feel an overwhelming sense of passion throughout the meal. Ok, if they're so horny, maybe they should actually do something about it. I mean really, Tita? Stop finding groundbreaking ways to communicate with your lover that surpass physical touching and just get on with the scandalous affair. I'm still waiting for the drama and profanities and you're just not delivering.
The most annoying metaphor of all though is the one with the matches. Tita's doctor friend tells her this old Native American myth where people all have matches inside of them and that things in their life trigger the matches, but that people have to be careful not to light all the matches at once. Um, does anyone else realize how severely anatomically incorrect this is? Anyone? I don't care if it's supposed to show that passion, no matter how long it is supressed, is embedded within each person and can ignite them at any time, or that no hardship in life can compete with the fulfillment that true love gives a person. I like my movies to be like my reviews: full of sense.
So hit the road, Like Water for Chocolate. And take that simile of a title with you, while you're at it. I've had enough with the figurative language.
No comments:
Post a Comment