Lost in Translation

Don't think I'm done with the Coppola's just yet. Oh no. We still have wee little Sofia to worry about.

Let's talk about Lost in Translation.

Ok, first off, what is with the fact that every time the Japanese language is audible, there are no subtitles to follow? I could care less about Bill Murray being "lost in translation"...it's my viewing pleasure that's at stake. I mean, what are you trying to do, Ms. Coppola, make me just as confused as the protagonist so I could better connect with the story or something? Come on.

And then Bob's wife just keeps faxing him and faxing him in the beginning (as if their marriage suffers from a general lack of intimacy or something). I mean, it takes this woman FOREVER to pick up a phone. I don't know about the rest of you, but I like my characters like I like my shopping skills: SMART.

Oh, and let's not forget that ending where Bill Murray gets out of the car and whispers somethnig in Scarlett Johannson's ear. See, if it was something spontaneously kinky, this would probably redeem the film in my eyes. BUT NO. Coppola makes it unintelligable (heck, inaudible). I mean, trust me, I cranked that volume UP. All I heard was "ashooshkabooksashhoo". Or something. I mean, come on! Bob was visited by a Japanese prostitute who asked him to rip (or nip? lick? see, Coppola, this lack of clarity is infuriating) her stockings. After that bizarre experience, surely nothing Bob whispered in Charlotte's oh-so-delicate ear could come close to surpassing THAT.

Also, Bill Murray is, erm, how do I put this delicately? Prehistoric, compared to Johannson. And yet they get all kissy-faced in the end. I mean, what is the point of that awkward age difference? To show that true human connection is rare and yet the possibilities of such a strong bond cannot be restricted by anything physical or understandable? Honestly, just put in Ryan Reynolds and we're good. There's your connection--it's called eye candy.

All in all, I wasn't "lost in translation" (except for the parts with the Japanese. And the Japaenese accents. And the overall strange culture and atmosphere). I was just lost.

Ouch.